Generation ZzZzZZzzZ

the impact of social media on a whole generation

A blog post that is supposed to bash on a younger generation? That’s such a boomer thing to do, isn’t it?

But no, I'm a millennial. The very last generation that still remembers what life used to be like not only without social media, but without the internet in general.

Obviously every generation can feel the differences between one another. Although I do think that millennials and Gen X have a lot in common. However when it comes to comparing millennials and Gen Z, I think we’re from a different planet. And not in a good way.
I often wonder whether I live in the best or worst era. As a woman, I have more freedom than women have ever had. As a sex worker, I get to run my business and do my marketing online from the comfort of my home, and I don’t have to stand on a street, work in a brothel, or hope for a random call from an ad in a newspaper.
But from a cultural perspective? I'm obsessed with movies from different eras, especially the 70s, 80s, and 90s. The fashion was so much more interesting, and it feels like people made a real effort. Now you go out and it’s all just black puffer jackets, leggings with socks over them, trainers, and flat hair. People always complain about how grey England is. Well, maybe try wearing some colour once in a while? It will brighten up the grey weather.
But okay, that’s fashion, and I understand why people choose comfort over standing out in the crowd and being playful.

But what about the behaviour?

I went to a gig the other day and it made me think. You know how much I love my live music and I always have. But I’ve noticed more than ever how crowds and the way people enjoy music have changed significantly. And no, I'm not just talking about the damn phones. Even back in the day, you'd find a few people in the crowd who brought an old camera and just stood there recording the whole thing.
But people used to go crazy, you know? There used to be insane mosh pits, and even though they are scary, the energy is so contagious that you just had to jump in and hope you were going to survive. I remember seeing Two Door Cinema Club in Prague back in 2013 and that was one of the best gigs I’ve ever been to. I was completely drenched in sweat because everyone was dancing like crazy and there was no ventilation in the venue. No one cared, though. That’s what music is supposed to do to people. You’re meant to let yourself go.

The only time I still feel at least similar energy from the crowd is when the crowd is very queer-based. So Charli XCX, Chappell Roan, Lorde, Lady Gaga, etc. But indie rock? Nah. Electronic music? Nah. You know that dancing at a concert doesn’t make you gay, right?
Also going to gigs for me was never really just about seeing the artist live with my own eyes. It’s also about truly enjoying the music with the people around you, who have the same delicious taste as you. But when you go to a gig and you look around and the crowd is very Gen Z, you know you’re about to have the most frustrating and boring time.
I'm currently obsessed with Artemas and he’s the artist I went to see. His music is exactly the kind of horny dance music I’ve been searching for my whole life. But because he’s known mainly thanks to TikTok trends, his crowd is very young.
His music is the kind of music where you let go, dance sexy, get sweaty, kiss the person next to you even if you’ve never met them before, maybe go fuck them in the bathroom, take some MDMA, and just be alive. You’re supposed to pee your pants a little bit, because you’re jumping too hard. Well, I was surrounded by people who wouldn’t move. A girl from the couple behind me was constantly poking me with her elbow because, I guess, she was irritated by the fact that I wasn’t standing still, and other people around me were filming every second of every song.
After two songs, my friend and I gave up and decided to go very far back. I needed space to express myself with my wholesome dancing and really enjoy the music. And very far back is where I found my people. Two slightly older ladies dancing like it was their last day on Earth, a couple kissing to a horny song, and I had so much space to dance around without being poked by anyone’s elbow. But in Carrie Bradshaw’s words, "I couldn’t help but wonder: when did enjoying life go out of style?

Why does it feel like Gen Z are going backwards rather than forwards?
Both Gen X and millennials are horny motherfuckers. The difference between them is that millennials are the ones who don’t have any shame around it. We are the generation that started breaking the stigma around sex, female pleasure, and all the things older people still might find inappropriate to talk about, even though it’s completely natural. I have an older friend, and he’s terrified when I openly talk about my period during lunch. And let’s not forget, we are the ones who invented hookup culture.

But something went wrong along the line. Some of my clients have Gen Z kids, and they are literally worried about them because they are boring as fuck.
They are in their 20s, and not only are they not fucking, they are also not interested in it. All they want to do is to stay home and make videos for TikTok.
For us, once we turned 14-15, all we were thinking about was losing our virginity. Who was it going to be with? How was it going to feel? Was it going to hurt? Was I going to be a different person after that? Who’s gonna be the first one to have sex in our friend group? Our brains were constantly spiralling.

We were just naturally curious. Back at school, when we were about 12, my group of friends found a porn magazine, and we buried it under a tree. Every free period, we would go and have a look at it. Growing up, I also remember my obsession with the movie Fair Game with Cindy Crawford. Purely for the scene on a train. The first time I saw it, I was too young to understand it, but I was still mesmerised.
Now Gen Z are saying that sex scenes in movies are pointless. Excuse me??
No, we actually need to bring back movies like Secretary or Crash. The good, horny sex. Come on, what would a show like Outlander be without all those sex scenes? They are the show! It was actually my parents messaging me, telling me I needed to watch it because they were obsessed. I wonder why, lol. Even my stepdad has a crush on Jamie Fraser.
Sex and intimacy are an important part of our lives, just like eating and drinking. Most of us think about sex constantly. And no, sex isn’t just shagging. Sexual energy is literally all around us, and personally, it feeds my creative spirit more than anything else. I get horny when I get inspired, and when I'm horny, I want to create!

I think now more than ever, I'm really grateful for my very, very wild teenage years. We already had the internet back then, but it was just to talk to our friends and our crushes. We weren’t trying to get famous on TikTok and impress people we don’t even know and will never meet.
We would party every weekend - get crazy drunk on a Friday and throw up, just to do the same on a Saturday. We would fuck in gross public toilets, be anything but discreet, and care about absolutely nothing. Because we were young. And when you’re young, you feel like you’re immortal. It’s a beautiful feeling.
Would I want to do it again now? Absolutely not. But I'm so grateful I did, because I know I’ll never feel like I missed out on something and try to make up for it later in life. You don’t really wanna go on a wild spree when you’re in your 30s or, God help, even older. Those are the years when your body takes days to recover, hangovers are a bitch, and you also look quite embarrassing. I used to get home at 4am from a party and then get up at 8am to go to my part-time weekend job at KFC during high school. Yes, KFC. I wasn’t vegan yet back then, haha. However that’s, not something your body can possibly do once you pass age twenty-seven.

A couple years ago, I used to have this twenty year old client. I kinda liked him, even though he was a spoiled brat from Kuwait. One night, we had a few drinks, we talked for ages, and we fucked. Around midnight, he went to the bathroom, I was lying on the couch, still naked, feeling happy and tipsy, playing and vibing to my favourite songs. He came out of the bathroom with a full face mask on, and I was like: “Are you fucking serious?”
He didn’t even understand why I found it completely ridiculous. He said he needed to take care of his pores, no matter what.
It’s obviously great to take care of your skin. But your teens and 20s are not for being religiously obsessed with your twenty-step skincare routine. I spent ten years of my life going to bed with a full face of makeup on at least once a week, and you know what? I'm thirty-two and I look absolutely fine. It’s sad how younger people are so obsessed with perfection.
Especially in those years when you should be anything but perfect. These are the years when you mess up. You go wild. You meet different people. You’re finding yourself, who you are and who you want to be. Based on your experiences, not social media. I didn’t really start taking care of my skin until I was twenty-seven, which was also the year I started OF and began seeing my face and body on screen almost 24/7. I started comparing myself to others, to beauty standards made by men who are attracted to children, and I started panicking that I was looking too old. It took me a while, and a lot of looking inwards, to realise and remember that ageing is natural. It’s a privilege. It’s a blessing. And if I find wrinkles on men hot, why wouldn’t I find them hot on myself?

But imagine growing up with all these different information constantly filling up your brain 24/7. Random people acting like a know-it-alls on TikTok, but in fact they are only good at talking and manipulating people. Someone has probably even made a video saying that water isn’t good for you and that you should only drink Coca-Cola and some people believed it.

It’s weird how older generations fought to be able to sexually express themselves, and now the younger generation just couldn’t care less. It’s like they only want to do things so they can post them on social media and get off on the likes and views. Is that the new idea of porn? Is that how they get their sexual satisfaction?

I think social media can be a tool to get inspired by possibilities you didn’t even know you could have. Back when I was 20, it was girls from my country that I was following on Instagram who inspired me to move to London and start a new life. Before that, I didn’t even think it was possible for me. I didn’t even know how cool London was. All I ever saw in movies was Big Ben and Buckingham Palace, but it was the streets of Islington, rooftop bars, and small gigs in pubs that made me say: “Okay I wanna live there.”
But social media shouldn’t be your whole life. Or your only source of information. It shouldn’t be the place where you learn all your life lessons. No, you need to learn those from actually living your life and making mistakes. Go and fall in love with the avoidant person. Go to the pub and make out with the cute American guy all night, even though you know you’ll never see him again. Go and let it be messy. I 100% get that the outside world is a scary place. Awful things happen to people every single day. But unfortunately, that’s a risk we all have to take. You can die any day by getting hit by a car or by slipping in the bathroom and smashing your head. Final Destination is not just a movie. We are all here for a very short time. Do you really want to spend it staring at your phone all the time? Checking how many likes your new picture has? Not dancing like crazy to your favourite music? Dressing boringly and not expressing yourself? Not taking risks?

When bloggers and influencers first became a thing, I really wanted to be one. But I could never quite find my niche. I couldn’t find the one thing that interested me so much that I'd wanna spend all my time talking about it. Ten years later, I'm actually really grateful that social media is not my full time job. It’s part of my marketing, of course, as it is now for most creatives and small businesses. But the way I truly make money is by being out there, living life to the fullest.
That’s also why I’ve pretty much given up on online sex work. I still have OF and I still post on it regularly, but I treat it more as an archive of my naked stuff. I still love photography and taking pictures of myself, but I don’t want to grow on that platform anymore. I don’t want to give it more energy than I already do. If anything, the plan is to give it less and less. Subscribe, enjoy the content, but don’t expect too much one-on-one interaction because I prefer real-life connections.

My muse for writing is literally life. Out there. Not inside. Not on my screen.

L. x